Ray DeForest: Who I Am

I am a child of the 60’s.  I was born at a time when the world seemed ready to move forward… fast!   It was a time when women were about to leap out of the kitchens and gays were about to leap out of the closet.   I remember standing in the hallway of my home in Staten Island, New York, while my parents watched news coverage of the Stonewall Riots.  It was 1969 and I was 10 years old.   My mother was in her hot pink pantsuit, her work attire for that day! (Totally fab!)  Several nights later, they did a TV special on gays and showed men dancing together in a club in “Greenwich Village”.   I was still in the hallway and it’s where I realized I was not alone. 

Fast-forward to June 2009, the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.  I stood on the Heritage of Pride float, leading the parade in full drag, holding my “Rainbow Roses” high with my partner by my side.  We came down 5th avenue to the cheers of thousands.  Gays, straights and everyone in between stood and welcomed us.  As we rounded Christopher Street in “Greenwich Village”, I had a flash of standing in that hallway so many years ago.   When I looked around and saw all the love, it confirmed that I certainly was not alone!  But I wondered, are we any different now?   Had things changed for us as a “community”?

I have recently read an article on a web site devoted to “The Best in Gay” and it said… “We’ve managed to single-handedly disband a community built on the blood sweat and tears of our gay forefathers”… “We are a disappointment.” … “March in something that doesn’t involve Speedos and costumes.” 

Really? 

During the parade’s “moment of silence”, I thought of everything I’d been through in my gay life, the many friends I’ve lost to AIDS over the years and where I want to take my life in the years to come.   How do I make my mark?  Who am I as a gay man?  I stood there pondering this question as a tear streaked down my well made-up cheek, dripped onto my gold lamé bathing suit encrusted with rhinestones and my wrap of rainbow ruffles, with my rose bouquet held high. And it made me think,”that writer is wrong”.  I try to make a difference every day.   I honor my gay forefathers, so don’t dare tell me and my gay friends that we aren’t a community that cares.   We do!   And how dare you say that we are a disappointment!   We may be a different community than we were 40 years ago, but we are definitely bound together in the pursuit of freedom.  We are far from a disappointment! 

Later, as I walked to the deli in my plaid shorts, tee shirt and Nike sneakers, I thought to myself… now this is a costume I would NEVER march in! 

Who I am, is a gay man that marches in fabulous outfits and is proud to say, “I am gay, deal with it!” 

So, I feel at this point in my life it is important to “spread the word” so to speak.   I stay up on the latest, greatest and not so great news and I am constantly reminded that there is such a large capacity for hate in the world.  But, more so, I am reminded that there is also a lot of love.   Personally, I am lucky to be surrounded by an enormous amount of love…my partner, family, friends, pets (yes pets!)…   And I hope to spread some of that love to you and the world.  Sometimes I get so angry by what I read, but in the end my posts will always be about a positive message.   I believe we are all good, I believe that we are on the right path; and sometimes, we just need a reminder! 

Now, on to that conversation... Hugs and Love…

[editor's note:   A very warm welcome to Ray and his new weekly blog.  Ray, we're happy to have you on board.]